What do you see when you take ketamine, speed, MDMA, 2C-P and wash it down with gin?
Hallucinations, a festival and the NHS.

Recorded in a park in Birmingham.

TalkToFrank.

Transcript

So I did a road trip around Scotland last summer. And I was on my own, and I was driving around and I was camping, and I had my little tent in my car and it was just really nice. I did like walks every day and stuff. But it was really nice for the most of it, and then suddenly – well, not suddenly, after quite a long time, like I was there three weeks on my own – I kind of ended up losing my mind a little bit and getting a bit introverted and into my own thoughts and eventually ended up crashing the car.

And then I came back to York. And on the day that I came back, my friend said to me “I’m going to Secret Garden Party tomorrow” – which is this festival in England – “and I’m going to work on this pizza stand, this stone bake pizza stand. And he needs more staff so do you want to come and work?” So I thought well, yeah. I was supposed to be in Scotland now so I might as well fill my time doing something. And it was just a really funny place. We we got there and the guy was like the most disorganised guy. And it was me, Elsa – who was my friend that I went with – and her friend from home, and then five Spanish guys that he’d kind of picked off the – he was driving to the festival and realised he didn’t have enough staff – and there was, these five Spanish guys who were just going to jump the fence or try and sneak in. So he was like “Oh, yeah, come and work at my pizza place”.

But it was the second day of the festival, and I’d taken quite a disgusting concoction really… Well I was drinking a lot of gin, firstly, throughout the day. And then I had some ket, and then I had some speed, and then I had some 2C-B, too much 2C-B, and I’d had one line of MD as well. So all in all, ket, speed and 2C-B… it’s just not a good concoction. So I was all right, and then things started to get a bit patchy and then I really lose my memory after taking NOS. NOS is like laughing gas, in a balloon. So that’s when I lose my memory. But from what I hear, I ended up in the like hospital tent. And I think I was, basically I was freaking, I think I had an anxiety attack from the NOS and from not being able to breathe and from all the drugs.

Basically, the first thing I remember from that is I was lying on the ground and there was about five people above me holding me down on the ground and I thought that they thought I was a horse. And that they were trying to restrain this horse so that they could inject me and put me down. So I was being like “I am not a horse! I am not a horse!” and like pushing them all off me. And, I realised all the people around me were wearing these like police caps and stuff. And I thought they were like fake police and I was like “What are they doing to me?”

[Carys]: Were you thinking this or were you saying it out loud?

No no I was thinking it. But basically, my mind was going through like different stages. So I was on this one stage where one of the women there looked like my aunt. So I thought I was in the hospital because she used to be a nurse. And then I was going through this other phase. But then basically, it was the firework display at the festival at the same time. And so all of these fireworks were going off. So I basically thought that all of these people were… they’d come to Planet Earth and they were trying to get human DNA in order… I don’t know really what I thought it was for… it was to better their thing. And this was like the destruction of Planet Earth because it was this weird festival thing. So I was like, I ran out of the tent and I saw this like big, bright gleaming sign which said Cheesy Chips. And then I thought cheesy chips was the code word so that people knew that they were coming to get me and that they wanted my DNA and they were going to try and get it from me.

[Carys]: Oh my god…

So I was running around… bearing in mind I was wearing shorts, completely barefoot. It had been raining for two days so the mud was like, I was just covered in mud with this big like – I used to call it my coat of many colours – it was like this big, really long jacket that was all ripped. And I was running around. I was going “Cheesy chips! Cheesy chips! Cheesy chips! Cheesy chips!” and I was grabbed from behind suddenly, onto the floor – by what I realise now was by one of the police people – and dragged back into this like tent thing.

All the while I was going through these different, it’s hard to explain, these like different levels in my head where I was in the different multiple states of being and the states of places… I don’t know, it’s really hard to explain. But the one that I kept coming back to was this: they were the people who were invading the earth and they were coming… And they were treating me in really weird ways. So for example, they gave me this drink, and it was bright orange. And they said: “Drink this. It’s really good for you. It’s really good for you. You need to drink it. It will make you feel good. It will make you feel better.” And I was like “Fuck this they’re trying to poison me”. So I threw the drink over the guy. I realise now it was Berocca.

So then basically I ended up strapped down on this thing. I had like straps around my ankles here, around my knees, around my hips, around my top and my two hands.

[Carys] Oh my god…

And I was strapped on this thing. And basically the next day I had absolute bruises, because I was just in an absolute state of shock and I just really thought they were… it was just not the way to handle a person that was having a bad trip on drugs. Because I was just trying to escape, all I kept saying was “Can I just go for a cigarette? Can I please go for a cigarette?” and they wouldn’t let me go for one. And they were like “No, you can’t smoke, you can’t go for a cigarette” blah blah blah.

Anyway, so then they strapped me in this – I was lying down and I was in this vehicle, I didn’t know what it was, I now realise it was an ambulance. And basically they took me to this place and when I got in everybody’s faces was like morphed and really… they were all like moving and there was people in wheelchairs that obviously couldn’t walk because of the things that this organisation had done to them. And like, then I thought it was a mental asylum where they were taking me and they was admitting me into this mental hospital. So I was just, I think I was really horrible to the doctors and I was like in this bed, blah blah blah. And then I locked myself in the bathroom. And in my head they were all coming and like trying to break down the door of this bathroom and I was panicking. And then I ended up finally coming out after being in there for ages. And everyone was obviously just going about their daily business and it was at that point that I started to kind of like, come around and get all right.

And then finally, I’d been speaking to one of the nurse, the actual only nice nurse, and she slipped me a cigarette secretly. So I went out to try and go for this cigarette, but to try and escape because they couldn’t know that I was going. And then I went into the waiting room, and I went over to this guy and I said: “Excuse me. Excuse me please where’s the exit? Where’s the exit? What’s the way out? What’s the way out?” And he just turned around and he said: “There is no way out.” And I went “Noooooo!” and I fell to the floor and honestly started shaking and crying. And he was like

“ Um I was just joking mate”. Like he actually said that, like the worst time to pull that joke ever! Went out, had this cigarette. Everything was fine. I was just back to normal.

[Carys]: And you know what I’m going to ask now.

No?

[Carys]: What’s the moral of the story?

The moral of the story is, if you see someone that’s tripping out, do not strap them down, and just let them have a cigarette.

[Carys]: I like that it’s not “don’t take excessive drugs”

No! Well, that is the moral of the story. The drugs are fine. It’s the strapping people down that’s the issue. No. Also, yeah, don’t take the concoction of ket, speed and 2C-B. Not the way forward.

[Sting] For more stories like this, click subscribe. You’ve been listening to Stories for Cigarettes.