Drastic measures taken in a student house.

Recorded in Canterbury outside a party.

Photo by nrd.


Okay, so I decided to do the stupid mistake of dating my housemate. And then he dumped me after like four weeks and then he started to date another housemate that was in the same house as us. And then I found the whole situation very disrespectful. And I felt like it had started behind my back. So I decided to get my revenge. And because I had access to his fridge and his food, I decided to buy some laxatives and ground it up and put it in his milk and in his stir fry. And if you’re constipated, you take two of those laxatives to regulate your bowel movement, and I put four in his food all together. And then later that day, I was with my other housemate, who was like one of my best friends, and her boyfriend was around. And she went upstairs, and she was just like “Wow, it really smells of diarrhoea up there.” And then I was just like “Okay wow we’ll go check it out.” And then we went upstairs and she was just like “I don’t understand why there’s a wash bowl with detergent and her sheets in the sink because she did her laundry yesterday.” And then we realised that we forgot we put the laxatives in his food and that he actually shat himself in her bed. So that’s how I got my revenge.

[Carys]: And now?

And now they broke up as well so now he lives with two exes. And it’s beautiful.

[Carys]: Okay, I always ask this at the end of every story: what is the moral of the story?

Get revenge.

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