Fond memories of a fearless family member.

Recorded on a rooftop in Canterbury.

Content Warning: Death.

Music by James Iball, image by Olivier Guillard


So it’s the last day that I remember spending with my auntie. I remember going there, and she used to live in the middle of nowhere. I can’t even remember where it is. I wouldn’t be able to describe it, it’s like a little fairy tale. So it’s like in the middle of the woods, it was crazy. She lived by this massive like old rundown wind mill, and it was like overgrown everywhere. And there was like this tiny little house, it looked like one of those houses out of Hansel and Gretel or something. And we used to go there, we didn’t go there very regularly because she was quite a private woman. But she was the best woman. She was my favourite person in the whole entire world.

And we went there this one time, and I remember getting there. And literally we like walked through the door – bear in mind she was always sick. Like, all the time that I knew she was always sick and covered in those like tubes and shit. It was so sad, but she was great, and she used to smoke like a chimney. She had something wrong with her lungs, that’s one of the reasons that she died. But she was like “Fuck it. I don’t care, I’m going to live my life doing exactly what I want to do.” And we got there and literally, as soon as we walked through the door – it must have been a birthday or something I can’t even remember. And she had, that squirty stuff that comes out of the can? And she literally like covered me and my cousin in it, like my mum…

[Carys]: Like silly-string?

Yeah it was like, all over the roof, it was so ridiculous. She just literally went crazy, she threw cans at us and all of this stuff. And it went all over the food, and like my mum was freaking out. She was like “Oh my god! We have to clean all this up.” And we spent the afternoon eating and chilling out. And she used to have this little treasure pot, and she used to say that she’d got all these coins from pirates and she used to give them to me and my cousin. We were probably like what… six or seven or something like that. And she used to give us these coins and it was something she did every time that we went there. And so she’d give us this coin and then me and her and sometimes her husband, we’d go out the back to like this little pond. And it was like the most overgrown little pond in the world. But literally any month in the year that you went there were always dragonflies, it was surrounded by dragonflies. And she would just sit there. And me and my cousin as well we would just mess around and she would sit on the bench. There was like this one little bench that you could sit on – I think it was a bench, or it was like a stump or something. I just remember it, I remember there being dragonflies everywhere, and I remember thinking this is like my favourite day. My favourite day.

And I don’t remember how long after that that she like got really sick. And I remember my mum telling me the story, and like she told my mum that she was sick but she told my mom not to tell anyone that she was sick. And then I think that what I remember my mum telling me, because we don’t really talk about it that much, is that when my auntie passed away, when she was like going, she said that she could see dragonflies and hear birds and that she was like in the garden or something like that. Or that she like is an actual… what you imagine when you die. And I just think that’s really strange because that’s like, the last memory that I have of her is like being out with the dragonflies. Which is really nice. That’s the end of my story.

[Carys]: I always ask people this and this isn’t really the type of story where there might be one, but if you can think of one: is there a moral of the story? You can think about it.

Always spend time outside near dragonflies.

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